Impaired Holiday
by Vintage Taylor
Summary: (Non-canon tidbit from Walking Towards the Sunset) Father's Day is tomorrow, and for the first time, Goten and Goku get to know what it's like to celebrate the day with their actual fathers around. One-shot not to be taken too seriously! Happy Father's Day!


**A/N** : In honor of my favorite holiday and because I miss family interactions, I decided to put up a one-shot that's based around the events of my story "Walking Towards the Sunset". As with my other fic, "Bloody Mary", you don't need to read it to really understand this. The only thing you need to know is that Bardock traveled to Earth after Planet Plant and lives with the Son family :-) Unlike Bloody Mary, Goku is alive.

So enjoy this little "non-canon" tidbit to the best of your ability; as usual, the goal is to make someone's day. And to any fathers reading this, you are greatly loved and appreciated.

* * *

"Should I get brown or white rice, Bardock?"

Chi-Chi was too busy examining the two clear packages in her hands to notice that her father-in-law had disappeared a long time ago. After going through an hour of not eating and rummaging the fridge to find 'nothing', the scarred male declared it was time to get more groceries. He didn't notice that his son and grandsons were snickering and keeping silent; knowing just what exactly happened to anyone who told the housewife there was no food.

The unlucky bastard had to take her shopping.

He had begged and pleaded for them to go instead, or at least with him, but the three of them absolutely refused saying they had 'other plans'. Whatever the hell that meant!

"Bardock?" Chi-Chi asked again, and then finally glared over her shoulder to find he wasn't by their nearly full cart. Scowling, she just threw both packages of rice into the cart and sped down the aisle with it to try and locate the hide-and-seeker. "BARDOCK!" she screeched, seeing the male pounding his fist on the table of a man giving out free samples of cheese.

"What the hell do you mean one per customer!?" he demanded, punching it again while the man dressed in a white apron and gloves began trembling. He then proceeded to gesture around the area sarcastically and dramatically, causing Chi-Chi to groan. "Do you see anyone else around here!? No...? Then GIVE ME MORE!" The grumpy grandfather ignored the woman tugging on his ear, trying to yank him away.

"Ma'am...?" the employee gulped, watching sweat to begin on her forehead as Bardock began to resist. "Is this your husband?"

"NO!" they both roared in unison, glaring at each other momentarily before the Saiyan spoke louder than her. "This is my daughter-in-law who doesn't feed me and keeps me on the shortest leash you could possibly imagine!"

The employee observed the way the two began glowering at each other and the way Chi-Chi seemed to be overpowering him at the moment. Feeling guilty, the timid man gave Bardock the entire bowl and with a nervous smile said, "Keep it."

A devilish smirk grew across the Saiyan's face as finally allowed Chi-Chi to drag him away, emptying the remaining cubes of cheese into his mouth and swallowing them whole after one bite. Once they made it back to the cart, the woman released him and smacked his shoulder. "What in the world do you think you're doing!? That's going to make you sick! In _my_ bathroom!"

Ignoring her, Bardock rummaged through the cart and nodded in approval at the food he was seeing. "Pork chops, rice, apples... A card?" he knitted his black brows together and took the card out, observing it. There were two monkeys on the front; a big one and a small one hugging each other. Feeling his eye twitch at the image already, he took the dare and opened it to read the small black font. "Let's go bananas, happy Father's Day...? What the hell is this shit!?" He flung it back in the cart and glared at the already pissed off Chi-Chi.

"What!?" she yelled back defensively, and began pushing the cart towards the line for the cashier. "I think it's cute!"

"It's racist!"

"To who!?"

"TO ME!" he barked and pointed to the tail around his waist, causing nosy women to start gossiping about how Chi-Chi's husband needed to start going to anger management courses. "And what the hell is 'Father's Day', anyway?"

Quickly becoming the next in line, Chi-Chi raised an eyebrow while placing the items on the counter. "Seriously? Did you not celebrate that on Vegeta?" When he gave her the 'no-shit' look, she sighed and continued. "Well, it's a special day we celebrate here on Earth. We dedicate it to all the fathers and give them gifts, and that cute card you rudely rejected is a gift from Goten to Goku. It's going to be his first time celebrating since his father is finally alive."

They ignored the baffled expression on the cashier's voice as she muttered out, "One hundred and sixy five zeni, please..."

Bardock watched as she took the money out of her purple purse that matched her dress and raised an eyebrow. "So does this mean Kakarot is giving me something?"

The woman simply winked as the two put the bags in the cart.

* * *

"Thanks for driving us, Videl!" Goku grinned his trademark goofy smile and patted the teenager on the back, causing her to wince slightly but she chuckled it off. They had just parked the new black vehicle with Hercule's signature on every door outside the West City mall on the busiest day of the week; Saturday. It didn't help much that Father's Day was tomorrow.

"No problem," she winked, feeling Gohan grab her hand. "I would have definitely preferred to fly; but ya know..."

Goten mimicked his older brother's gesture and held onto his dad's hand; to which the father happily agreed to. "Are we buying Grandpa Bardock something, Dad? And is Mama taking care of Grandpa Ox?"

"Yup!" the messy-haired Saiyan chuckled, swinging their arms in a giant circle just to hear his son laugh. "And Gohan and Videl are going to shop for me- er, I mean Mr. Satan.." Goku winked at the couple and began laughing when they shook their heads at his unsubtle ways. The odd group entered the air conditioned mall among the crowd, basking in the coolness after coming in from the sunny summery outdoors.

"Okay, Goku..." Videl spoke slowly to her tall father-in-law in the same manner Chi-Chi did when she needed the lug to listen to her carefully. She took a money clip out of her purse and reluctantly handed it to him, feeling like maybe Goten was the better choice. "This is a thousand zeni. Spend it wisely, okay?"

Without any guilt in his eyes or lack of pride, the Saiyan took it without hesitation and placed it in the pocket of his jeans that Chi-Chi made him wear. Apparently, when out shopping, he was suppose to dress 'normally'. Whatever that meant. "Thank ya, Ms. Satan!" he saluted her, and then caught sight of Gohan looking at him nervously. "What is it son?"

"Dad..." he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find a polite way to put it. "Please don't do anything..."

"Stupid?" Goku offered and then laughed when Gohan responded with a series of blinks. "Don't worry; your mother already told me!"

The teenager sighed in relief, knowing full well that if his mother warned his father to the full extent of her power, he wouldn't do anything that would require more of his girlfriend's money to repair. "Alright, let's just make a plan to meet right by this entrance at three, okay?" When Goku and his mini look-alike nodded in unison with the same cheesy grin, the teenage couple started heading to the escalators to leave the father and son duo behind.

"Dad?" Goten questioned, pulling on his father's pant leg. "Is a thousand zeni a lot?"

Goku rubbed his chin for a moment, thinking. "Hmm... I dunno!" he began sniffing the air, catching the heavenly scent of baked pretzels. "Mmm.. We'll find a gift for Grandpa in a minute! First, let's eat!"

* * *

The manager of the prestigious and high class Oulton Outlet glared at the customers that had just entered. The father was licking the cinnamon off his fingers obnoxious; while the child was slurping on his giant ice cream cone that would sure make a mess. "Excuse me," he turned his nose up at them when they looked at him. "You can't eat that in here. You _must_ go outside."

When Goten simply swallowed the ice cream and its waffle cone whole, the manager nearly keeled over. "There!" he smiled warmly. "All gone!"

The manager began fidgeting his long fingers, trying to think of reasons to make the drifters leave until his eyes caught sight of the numerous bills sticking out of the adult's pockets. Realizing that at least these... _country_ _hicks_ had money, they were good to stay. Sighing, the man spoke again. "How may I help you today?"

"I'm looking for a gift for my old man!" Goku chuckled nervously, placing one hand on his hip and the other on the back of his neck. "It's kind of our first Father's Day together, and I'm completely stumped!"

 _Hm, so Daddy issues..._ The manager cleared his throat and motioned for the two to follow him. "Come with me, we'll take a look at the section specifically made for those poor souls in your predicament."

While Goku walked ahead of him, Goten looked at the back of his similar head began admiring the fact that this was his first Father's Day, as well. He had finger painted a picture of the two of them riding Nimbus together, and knowing his mom was currently buying him a card, he was definitely ready for tomorrow!

"Are you sure this is what all the dads want?" Goku's voice brought the child out of his thoughts as he noticed they had made a stop in front of a row of brown leather aprons. The manager shrieked when the Saiyan placed his greasy and grubby fingers on one of them to examine it. "It seems kinda...weird..."

"Well," the man seethed. "You just tainted it with your dirty fingers! Now you _have_ to buy it!"

Goku pouted, making a mental note to apologize to Gohan and Chi-Chi for already doing something stupid. "...How much?" he looked at the greasy apron sadly, not seeing a price tag anywhere.

"Eight hundred zeni."

"Wha!?" Goku sweatdropped, taking a giant step back that nearly knocking over the confused Goten. "But I already spent two hundred on food! I won't have enough!"

The manager growled under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest. Tapping his foot impatiently for dealing with an illiterate, the man was becoming angrier by the minute. "Well how much did you have when you came to the mall!?"

"Uh..."

"A thousand, Dad!" Goten offered, smiling cheerfully when his father rubbed his messy hair for being a good boy. The manager rolled his eyes but tried his hardest to fake a smile.

"A thousand minutes two hundred is eight hundred so you're fine, come with me to the cash register so you can leave." The heels of the man's boots clicked as he stomped down the tiles, and Goku continued to pout while they followed him slowly. Goten was frowning now, too, realizing that his father was upset.

"What's wrong, Dad? I think the apron is pretty cool!" Hey, he did! If it wouldn't look like a dress on his tiny body, he would definitely wear it.

Goku bit his bottom lip, still looking down at the white tiles until they reached the cashier where the manager was hastily stuffing the apron in a box. "I mean, it's okay, but... Gosh, this is our first Father's Day together and he's going to remember it by a darn apron..." The Saiyan glanced up at the impatient hand that was waiting on the remaining zeni in his pocket. Sighing, he placed the rest of the money clip where it now belonged.

Not liking seeing his dad this upset so close to a holiday that was meant to do the exact opposite, Goten placed his chin on the counter and gave his sweetest, most conniving puppy dog eyes he muster. "Uhm.. mister?"

"What!?" the manager snapped, trying to shoo them away now that he got what he wanted. Through his peripherals he noticed the boy still wasn't budging and groaned.

"Please mister," he begged and his eyes grew wider when the man finally acknowledged his presence. "I am going to have a party with my family tomorrow... This is going to be my first Father's Day with my daddy and his daddy. Can we please get another gift or something so my dad can be happy again?"

The manager opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it when he was beginning to feel sorry for the country hicks and the child's damn eyes weren't making him feel any better. Sighing loudly, he instructed the Son boys to wait a moment. Goten and Goku looked at each other and shrugged, not knowing what the man was up to. When he came back with a yellow gift wrapped present with a bright blue bow on top, the child began jumping up and down excitedly while the adult's grin found its way back to his face.

"Here," he grumbled and gave it to Goku along with his bag that contained the boxed apron. "It's the finest one we have. I'm sure your father is going to need it."

"What is it?" Goku blinked. Goten was up on his tippy toes as the two tried observing it; looking for any clue by its shape as to what it could be but to no avail.

"You'll see," the man simply said and a small smile crossed his face, only for a moment, when Goten hugged his leg. "Alright, alright. You two can leave now."

Placing the present inside his bag, Goku knelt down and lifted his son onto his shoulder. "Man, what amazing customer service!" the father whistled as they made their way out the door. The two never looked back to notice the manager was flipping them off.

* * *

Always making due with what she had, Chi-Chi set out extra lawn chairs that could used for those who couldn't find a seat on the picnic bench outdoors. The four boys that lived there with her, the Satans, and Ox King were all currently watching a movie indoors so they wouldn't distract her from making this day the best that she could. Videl stood guard in the kitchen to protect the food after suffering too many Christmas and Thanksgiving Day losses.

"Perfect," she smiled as she already had decided where everyone was going to sit by placing their gifts in that spot. She gave her enormous father a seat at the picnic table, of course, along with her Goku across from him. The two seats at the side were designated for Bardock and Goten. Wanting to get Gohan and Videl to get closer to marriage, she placed two lawn chairs extremely close to each other with Mr. Satan and herself directly across; figuring she'd be able to stand the man who took her son's glory for the sake of today. "Alright, guys! Come on out!"

After hearing her holler, the family emerged and Chi-Chi acted as a traffic director trying to get them seated in the right spots. Curioisty quickly shown itself on Bardock's face as he saw two gifts on his seat; wondering if his son really had gone all out for him. Goku found two boxes; one with a card on top and one with a bow, and immediately grinned despite his roaring stomach. Mr. Satan hurriedly snatched up his gift bag, but was shamed by Videl to put it back down and wait until everyone was ready. Ox, of course, was waiting with his trademark grin and holding his large bag.

"Okay... GO!"

A storm of gift wrap and tissue formed in the air, flying around rapidly and landing on the grass as the fathers tore into their gifts. Goten's eyes were on hard on his father, waiting to see that reaction. He frowned when his father didn't look too happy. Instead, he looked rather...

Sad?

Hurt?

"You don't like it?" Goten whispered sadly, lowering his head while watching his father observe the painting of them riding Nimbus. Sure, the kid wasn't talented but he did try his best! And his father wasn't even smiling!

"No, that's not it," Goku shook his head, tracing the figures in the painting with his finger as the world around him besides Goten got quiet. He had never ridden Nimbus with Goten; that was all Gohan. Yet, his youngest son portrayed it as just the two of them. Silent guilt ran through his heart as he realized that he was a fool for missing out on those seven years of watching him grow into the young boy he was now. The Saiyan bit his bottom lip, trying to find the right words to say. He got off the bench and came up behind Goten, wrapping his arms gently around his neck and kissing the back of his head. "I love it, son. I really, really do."

Goten squealed in delight, squeezing his father's arms. "You need to read the card! Open it, open it!"

Goku saluted him and hurriedly went back to his seat to rip open the white envelope. Before even reading the pun inside, he burst out laughing at the image of two monkeys so hard that he was in tears. In the background, Bardock could be heard sighing loudly. "Let's go bananas, Goten!" he howled, hugging his son yet again. "I love it! I love you. Thank you, son, thank you."

"Open Gohan's now!" Goten cheered, obviously excited that his gift was a hit. "I wanna see what he got you!"

The messy-haired Saiyan adult glanced over at where his oldest son was sitting, noticing that he was busy watching Hercule observe his box that he was struggling to open. Shaking his head with a smile, he opened up Gohan's gift.

Only to find it was the same as Goten's, except with Gohan in place of his little brother.

"Oh man!" he laughed, showing the canvases to the group at the picnic table. "My sons are so talented!"

"Copycat," Goten muttered under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest. He quickly snapped out of his pout when he realized his Saiyan grandfather was about to open the mysterious gift from the manager. Quickly, he poked his dad's shoulder rapidly. "Look, Dad! The mystery present!"

The father and his offspring watched as Bardock slowly unwrapped the smaller of the two boxes, having already seen the leather apron and being confused by it. Once the gift wrap was off, there was a remaining white box with a lid that the scarred Saiyan tossed to the side. Goku and Goten were nearly falling off their seats as the grandfather blinked and pulled a large, clear bottle with a strange logo on the front.

"Hm?" Goku tilted his head in confusion. "What is it?"

Bardock scowled, holding the bottle to his chest. "What the hell, Kakarot, didn't you get it for me!? Did you get me something you have no clue about!?"

"Read the label!" Goten insisted, not wanting a fight to start between his grandfather and father. Much to his relief, the grumpy grandpa began reading the black label out loud.

"..Everclear.."

"ALRIGHT!" Hercule's booming voice echoed throughout Mount Paozu, bringing the attention of those at the picnic table to the man sitting on the lawn chair with a satisfied looking daughter. "EVER CLEAR AND A LEATHER APRON! JUST WHAT I WANTED!" He was holding his new possessions up high like one of his championship belts while Goku sweatdropped immensely.

"We.." he blinked. "We got you the same thing..."

Bardock observed how happy the idiot was, and then snapped out of his confusion realizing that these gifts had to be something of delicacy on this planet. Placing the bottle down, he stood up and quickly embraced his son for a moment before it got too long. "Thank you, son. I-... I thoroughly enjoy them." He didn't want to admit that he had no clue as to what they were still, but truly was happy somewhere in his nonexistent heart.

Sighing in relief that everything had worked out for the best, Goku gave Ox, the other member of the table, a pat on the back and whistled. "Maaaaan, Chi-Chi sure knows how to pick out boots, doesn't she!?"

"Oh, yes!" the jolly man laughed wholeheartedly, already taking off his old dirty pair and slipping on the new ones. "My beautiful daughter always takes care of me!"

"She's quite a gal, huh?" Goku spoke loud enough so Chi-Chi could hear even over Hercule's sobs, causing the housewife to blush. He was about to walk over and ask her when the food was going to come out, but was interrupted by Mr. Satan marching towards their direction, particularly to Bardock and slapped his own bottle of Everclear on the table.

"So I see you're a drinkin' man," Hercule winked at the now snarling Saiyan. "How about we see who can hold their liquor the longest!?"

"LIQUOR!" Goku and Chi-Chi shouted in horror; the housewife already stomping her way towards her husband to grab his ear for making such a horrible mistake until she heard him cry out longer. "Oh no! That's... That's not good!"

Ignoring his freaking out son and daughter in law, Bardock raised an eyebrow and began to muse over the last time he had a drink. It was on Planet Vegeta after another successful mission, but for some reason after that (besides the fact it exploded), Bardock never did it again. Still, the annoying man was pressing him further and challenging him. And he sure as hell wasn't the one to turn down a challenge. "Alright," he smirked. "You're on."

"Ohhhhhh nooooo, noooo, noooo!" Chi-Chi scolded, but then immediately stopped herself when she remembered the promise she made herself to not ruin the fathers' Father's Day. Still, she couldn't let her little Goten catch sight of the two drinking. "You can do it inside," she warned. "Only inside, and if you find yourselves unconscious before the food is ready, it's your own fault!"

Rolling his eyes, Bardock grabbed the bottle and his leather apron as Hercule followed him into the house. Once she heard the door shut, Chi-Chi glared at her husband until he raised his hands in defense. "Chi-Chi, I really didn't know! What kind of clothing store sells alcohol!?"

The teenagers made their way over to the bench before the mother could get another word out, trying really _really_ hard to control her anger. This day wasn't only for the fathers, but the sons who never got a chance to be with their fathers. Gohan placed a strong hand on her shoulder to calm her down and smiled when she glanced up at him. "It'll be fine, Mom. I'm sure they'll pass out before they do anything embarrassing," Gohan smiled when his mother seemed to be a little less tense and then he looked at the thankful Goku. "Did you like your painting, Dad? I kinda...stole the idea from Goten."

"Yeah, you did!" the boy stuck out his tongue, but wasn't mad anymore. He had a feeling his dad liked his painting the best!

"Of course!" Goku laughed. "I can't believe it's-"

The door suddenly burst open, and the group outside screamed loudly at what had escaped. In their leather aprons, and only their leather aprons, were two men straggling their way to the lawn chairs. Chi-Chi began to feel faint when Bardock picked up one of them and slammed it Hercule's head, breaking it while the two drunks laughed wildly.

"He uh..." Gohan sweatdropped. "I've.. I've never seen Gramps laugh before."

"I don't think it's a good thing, Gohan..." Videl gulped. "My dad... Oh no.."

Bardock pointed a sloppy finger at Mr. Satan, poking his nose. "You know what I've been wanting to do ever since I found out you stole my grandson's fame. _Hercule..._?" his words were slurred, making it hard for anyone but those already plastered to understand. "Punch ya in the face..."

Mr. Satan began pounding his chest and raised his chin up high to the best of his ability. "Bring it... _amateur_! I'm... THE CHAAAMP!"

Gohan and Videl turned deep red watching the scene unfold until they both covered their eyes from the horror of the nearly naked men fighting each other. Goten was laughing loudly, and a smile remained on his tiny face when he felt his father's hand rest on his shoulder. He reached his small hand up and placed it on top of Goku's, and the two laughed together as Bardock sloppily missed Hercule's cheek with his fist and stumbled forward.

"AHA, YES!" the champ cheered. "Still the best!"

"Oh my God, Dad!" Videl screamed. "Your apron came off!"

Chi-Chi shook her head as Bardock found it to be hilarious and proceeded to do the same, swinging the leather material above his head like a lasso. She had to clench her fist tightly so she wouldn't scream her head off at the men who had ruined their own party. Taking a deep breath, her eyes settled on the happy faces of her youngest son and husband, who were finally celebrating their first Father's Day together. Beside them were the two teenagers; one of which she was positive would be celebrating his own Father's Day one day soon. Ox was clapping at the sight of the inebriated fighters and wearing his new tailor-made outfit that made him look more handsome than the devil. Finally, the drunken howls of her father-in-law filled her ears, letting her know that when Bardock recovered, he would realize his race missed out big time on such a great holiday like this.

Silently vowing to get them back on Mother's Day, Chi-Chi put on her best cheerful smile and left the scene to gather to finish preparing the food that was inside the only place she'd ever call home; and it had become full again because of the fathers.

* * *

 **A/N** : A tad weird, yes? Once again, have a beautiful Father's Day! I can't wait to show my old man this story just to hear him ask me why I keep writing about "pokemans" (Pokemon) and "yugees" (Yu-Gi-Oh) lmao ;-) For all the pokemans and yugees, thank you so much for reading!


End file.
